Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm jealous of your bromance
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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