I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
