i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You were trust falling into bushes
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
