Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Randomize
