im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
