What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
