I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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