the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
