I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
