she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i dont even know how to be here
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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