Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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