I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
