I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
