So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
