well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
