I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
