I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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