new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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