This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
