i was born a porn star she said
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
