Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
