we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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