I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
