All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
