Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
honey bunches of taint.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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