I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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