Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
