Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
