Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Houston, we have a blender
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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