I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
