If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
no you cant smoke seaweed
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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