Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
