The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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