Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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