I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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