so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
