This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
