Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
