I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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