The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
