Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
