it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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