how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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