He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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