dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
