are you still at the devil's house?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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