I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
