used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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