You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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