hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
