im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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