I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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