Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
